First, let me start out by apologizing to our readers. We have not been posting as consistently as we would like to. Honestly, we have both been busy fixing resumes, writing cover letters, applying for jobs and going to interviews, working with financial aid so we can go to school and picking out classes while simultaneously trying to work on our individual growth and find time to eat (a newly acquired vegan diet) and sleep a solid 8 hours a night. Basically, we have been letting life (by definition of our social constructs) get in the way of our passion for writing and our love for sharing with our readers.
So anyway, back to the real topic of this post…. I recently got a message from the universe telling me to strive for opportunities that seem out of reach. After all, the bigger the risk.. the bigger the reward. Right?
So, after sending in application after application and hearing back from MAYBE 1/3 of the companies (those I was hearing back from were the trivial jobs I wasn’t too excited about). I was starting to lose hope that maybe I was aiming a little too high. I reached for opportunities, asked those with connections to give me any helpful information they had (and I am so grateful for those who did) and still made seemingly zero progress.
I started to really get down on myself. I am a 22 year-old who has lived in 5 different cities, attended 3 different Universities, declared 4 different majors, still lives at home, didn’t have a job (I landed a pretty good job at a salon I am super excited about… YAY), haven’t been taking care of my body, and hasn’t done half of the things I said I would since leaving high school four years ago. I felt like I was on a road to nowhere and that I was doing nothing about it. Day after day I was seeing snaps, Instagram posts, and Facebook updates that reminded me that everyone else has their life together and I am just a bum living the life of un-abundance and stagnation. I even harbored guilt about not posting on the blog; feeling like I had nothing to write about and no inspiration that was driven 100% by me and no other outside influence. Essentially, I felt like a complete loser. But after sitting and really thinking about (a.k.a. Meditating On) my life, the path I have chosen, where I am heading, and how far I have really come in my own personal journey (not necessarily by the standards of society), I realized I was being way too hard on myself. Sure, I was feeling really stagnant and that I was literally making a living on the struggle bus, but that is bound to happen. Tyler even reassured me that for someone my age, these feelings of being overwhelmed, undervalued, and unproductive are normal.
Above all else I realized that my struggle was a gift; that although I spent years (and lots of money) trying to figure out my purpose, I was on an incredible path to awakening, peace, joy, and harmony with the rest of the world (both physical and spiritual). I realized that no.. I do not have a fancy degree like most people my age, but I am striving for a degree that I am passionate about and I fully intend on utilizing every bit of information I am paying thousands of dollars for. I realized that yes, I am living at home but I don’t have to stress about rent and I can really take some time to develop within myself rather than break my back trying to pay outrageous amounts of money just to sleep, eat, and breathe under a roof. I realized that all of my indecision about where I want to live, what I want to be doing, and where I want to go to school have put me in environments and situations that I never would have found myself in. And yes, I literally found more pieces of myself in each city and university. I realized that I didn’t have a job because the best one (for the moment) was waiting for me. I realized that I can start taking care of my body TODAY rather than sitting and beating myself up for not doing it yesterday. I realized that no, I haven’t achieved all of my goals (yet) but that is because I dream big and my achievements are not all things I can acquire or master by tomorrow. I realized that I do not need to feel guilty for not writing because I would rather give you guys something genuine and inspirational to read rather than to post something just to say I “did my job for the day”. I realized (again) that social media is a platform most people use to share the best aspects of their life, which is amazing because people share so many positive and inspirational things, but everyone is struggling in their own way. And the fact that everyone is struggling is beautiful because (hopefully) that means they are learning from their place of stagnation and developing into more productive and self-loving individuals. I realized that inspiration is everywhere if I just stop to really observe and experience everything that is going on in the present. And I realized that I am a part of the most beautiful, interconnected system in the cosmos; that I am always a work in progress, that I am a conscious and loving soul capable of so many great things and that I deserve to be here, in this life because the work i am here to do is going to help the world find unconditional love.
If you find yourself struggling, I highly encourage you to take some time to think (meditate, drink some tea, take a bath, write in a journal) and list what aspects of your life you would change and why. Then list all of the positive aspects of those struggles. I encourage you to repeat those affirmations to yourself: I am beautiful, I have a purpose here, I deserve to love and be loved unconditionally, I am part of a greater whole, and the universe does not put us through situations we can not endure. As long as we are learning and growing, I believe no one is truly stagnant. We are all human, we struggle to get back up and keep going sometimes, we get discouraged, we let fear take over, and we forget to love ourselves. But all we can do is make a conscious effort to train our minds to think differently about ourselves and our situations and I promise you will feel empowered and unstoppable.
Above all else, I want this to be a reminder to everyone out there who is feeling down:
You are not alone, the universe is always conspiring with/for you
There is ALWAYS a lesson to be learned and you are ALWAYS growing
Even in the darkest of times, the light will persevere in the end (if you want it to)
And you are an amazing, all powerful being whose connection to the planet and the cosmos makes you deserving of all that you wish for in this life
So go out and embrace every moment of your life, pleasant or otherwise, because that is the only way to live in peace and joy for the rest of time.
Thank you for reading. I love you all 😃
Peace to all in both struggle and prosperity (after all, they are both one in the same)